And the transformation begins

Well, I started my weight loss journey almost 2 months ago on September 11th, so I decided it was time for me to start writing about it. After finally just being sick of what I looked like I decided to join Weight Watchers about 2 months ago and begin my journey to a better me. So here's a little background on how I got here:

This was a big step for me because I've never exactly been a skinny person. Since I've been in high school I've gone on a few diets with my mom with her encouragement and support but it never really worked because I think I was always doing it for her and not for myself. After my freshman year of college I gained 30 pounds, so I went from kind of overweight to just out of control. I did go on Jenny Craig that summer and lost about 20 pounds but by the time I graduated 3 years later it just came back on.

After I graduated I got a job in Boston where I've been living for the past year and a half. I thought that moving out on my own and being away from the bad school food would give me a new chance. I was determined that this was my chance to do something. But then about a month I moved here I had a bad fall and tore some ligaments in my foot. I was pretty much out of commission for 3 months and had to undergo physical therapy. During this time I was not exercising because it just hurt too much so basically I'd go home from work and sit and watch tv.

I went to the doctor in March for a physical and was surprised to see I weighed 254 lbs! You think this would have been a wake up call for me but it really wasn't. In August I had to go back to the doctor and was shocked to see I weighed 260lbs! I was completely eating horribly and not taking care of myself at all. Finally after moving into a new apartment with new roomies I decided that I just had to do something. On September 11th I decided to go join Weight Watchers. When I weighed in for the first time I topped the scales at 266! So there began my transformation.

A huge part of my problem is that I'm a compulsive binge eater. Its like I can just go numb and eat thousands of calories in a very short amount of time. I was really unhappy in my living situation when I first moved to Boston and had lots of problems with my roommate. I think to fill some kind of void I would go buy tons of junk food and just sit and eat and eat until I went to bed. Since starting WW I have really tried to get control of that but its still really hard. When some people lose weight they look at the crap they used to eat and say "oh that's so gross, I don't know how I ever ate that". For me I'm not sure I'll ever say that. I still think those things look good, and they taste good even though I know they're horrible for me. The great thing about WW though is that if I plan right I can still have some of the foods I used to eat every once and a while.

My last weigh in was on Tuesday night and I actually had my first gain...+ 2.6 lbs. Yes, it was disappointing but I knew I wasn't going to do well because I had a bad week with the exercise and was kind of so-so with the food. All this on top of the fact that it was my time of the month. So with my gain this week I've lost a total of 11.8 lbs so I'm pretty proud of myself. I've finally made a commitment to do this for myself and I'm going to see it through.

Weight to date: 254.2
Weight loss this week: +2.6
Total weight loss: 11.8