Well last night was disappointing, I gained 2 lbs. I sat at my meeting and wanted to cry, this just hasn't been my week (I also found out I didn't get accepted to BU for grad school). I know I ate more than usual but I did exercise everyday so I thought I'd at least stay the same. I couldn't even talk at my meeting because I was so upset about everything. To make matters worse I went and got a sandwich from Panera for dinner. I had 20 points left for dinner so I wanted to use them up (the sandwich is 18 points), but I know there are a lot healthier ways to use my points.
Last week at the meeting we wrote our goals for the new year, and mine was to be at 10% by the first meeting of the new year which is January 8th. Now I have 8 pounds to lose to be able to do that. That means I have to average 1.6 lbs a week to do this, no gains, no staying the same. I'm still going to work hard at this, but I really hope I can do it. **Sigh** I know I shouldn't have this defeatist attitude and that I need to accept that gains are part of the journey but when you're actually in the situation its really hard not to feel disappointed. I just need to get past it, this week is a fresh start and new week.
Weight to date: 248 lbs.
Weight loss this week: + 2 lbs.
Total weight loss: 18 lbs.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Monday, November 26, 2007
Down more!
I forgot to post last week after weigh in. It was a really good one, down 4 lbs!! That was supposed to be really encouraging for me going into the Thanksgiving holiday, but I think I ate way too much. We'll see tomorrow at weigh in. **Crossing fingers**
Weight to date: 246 lbs.
Weight loss this week: 4 lbs.
Total weight loss: 20 lbs.
Weight to date: 246 lbs.
Weight loss this week: 4 lbs.
Total weight loss: 20 lbs.
Friday, November 16, 2007
Weak moments
I thought I was only going to update once a week but I'm struggling this morning to stay on plan. Although since starting WW things have been a lot better with my binging, it has still been really hard to be in control. I think the biggest difference is that now if I binge I don't go out and buy a load of junk to eat but I'll eat things I have at home. For the most part I have healthy food, but I do have things like full fat cheese (the fat free stuff is just horrible).
A lot of times I'll binge on the cheese or pasta or something. Its been really hard for me at work because the drug reps bring in food all of the time (I work in a hops ital). Before starting WW I was eating a catered lunch everyday but Fridays, and most of the time they don't bring healthy good. Now I bring my lunch and the only time I eat the catered lunch is at our Monday meetings. On Thursday and Fridays they bring us breakfast. I'm not a huge breakfast person, so no problem until they bring bagels and scallion cream cheese. Gosh those things are good. I used to eat 2 of them in a morning. So I broke down and had one this morning and do you know those bagels are 6 points and the cream cheese is 4 points for 2 Tbsp. Ok, I knew this so I really shouldn't be surprised when I double checked in the points tracker but I'm kicking myself for eating that thing. Things happen though, I just need to try to control myself better I guess. I've been drinking lots of water and chewing sugar free gum (which is something I need to do more to keep my mouth busy). Live and learn, right?
A lot of times I'll binge on the cheese or pasta or something. Its been really hard for me at work because the drug reps bring in food all of the time (I work in a hops ital). Before starting WW I was eating a catered lunch everyday but Fridays, and most of the time they don't bring healthy good. Now I bring my lunch and the only time I eat the catered lunch is at our Monday meetings. On Thursday and Fridays they bring us breakfast. I'm not a huge breakfast person, so no problem until they bring bagels and scallion cream cheese. Gosh those things are good. I used to eat 2 of them in a morning. So I broke down and had one this morning and do you know those bagels are 6 points and the cream cheese is 4 points for 2 Tbsp. Ok, I knew this so I really shouldn't be surprised when I double checked in the points tracker but I'm kicking myself for eating that thing. Things happen though, I just need to try to control myself better I guess. I've been drinking lots of water and chewing sugar free gum (which is something I need to do more to keep my mouth busy). Live and learn, right?
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Back on track!
I have to say that last week when I gained 2.6 lbs. it was a wake up call for me. Thank goodness it helped me get back on track because I had not been making very good food choices, and exercise was basically non existent except for lunch time walks. I love my walks at lunch (usually about 45-60 mins). That just isn’t enough exercise for me I found. I really need to get myself to the gym at least 3 times a week for a more intense workout. Plus, on the walks we're always stopping to look in store windows or to see puppies (they're so cute I can't help it). I have been getting good about always making it to the gym from Friday through Monday. Since Tue. is my weigh in day I don't really have time then, I try to get there Wednesday if I can, and Thursday is class day so I don't get home until after 9pm. I'd really like to start doing the gym in the morning but I just don't know if I can bring myself to get up early enough to make it there by 6am so I can make it to work on time.
I think I was very good with the food this past week, there were no eating out days which helped me a lot. I realized that I need to definitely control myself better with eating out. I always have enough points to get something I want and I can also use some weekly points, but I don't necessarily make the best choices when eating out, so I know I could be using those points in a much better way. I only had one potential snag this week which I thought I handled well. I had to be at a dinner meeting for work until 6pm on Tuesday, which meant that by the time I got home on the bus and got into my car I wouldn't make my weigh in and meeting that night. I was pretty bummed about this but there was nothing I could really do. Well the meeting ended up finishing at 5:45pm and dinner was served after...chicken parm, pasta, and cookies the size of your head. It looked good, but I decided to skip dinner and head home so I could get to the meeting, which I think was a really good decision for me because I know I would have ended up eating too much anyway.
I was so nervous for weigh in on Tuesday because of the gain last week, so when I saw I was down 4.2 lbs I was so excited! That means I'm only 10.6 lbs away from reaching 10%!! Less than half way to go to my first big goal. This definitely gave me the encouragement to keep going and have another great on plan week.
Weight to date: 250
Weight loss this week: - 4.2
Total weight loss: 16
I think I was very good with the food this past week, there were no eating out days which helped me a lot. I realized that I need to definitely control myself better with eating out. I always have enough points to get something I want and I can also use some weekly points, but I don't necessarily make the best choices when eating out, so I know I could be using those points in a much better way. I only had one potential snag this week which I thought I handled well. I had to be at a dinner meeting for work until 6pm on Tuesday, which meant that by the time I got home on the bus and got into my car I wouldn't make my weigh in and meeting that night. I was pretty bummed about this but there was nothing I could really do. Well the meeting ended up finishing at 5:45pm and dinner was served after...chicken parm, pasta, and cookies the size of your head. It looked good, but I decided to skip dinner and head home so I could get to the meeting, which I think was a really good decision for me because I know I would have ended up eating too much anyway.
I was so nervous for weigh in on Tuesday because of the gain last week, so when I saw I was down 4.2 lbs I was so excited! That means I'm only 10.6 lbs away from reaching 10%!! Less than half way to go to my first big goal. This definitely gave me the encouragement to keep going and have another great on plan week.
Weight to date: 250
Weight loss this week: - 4.2
Total weight loss: 16
Thursday, November 8, 2007
And the transformation begins
Well, I started my weight loss journey almost 2 months ago on September 11th, so I decided it was time for me to start writing about it. After finally just being sick of what I looked like I decided to join Weight Watchers about 2 months ago and begin my journey to a better me. So here's a little background on how I got here:
This was a big step for me because I've never exactly been a skinny person. Since I've been in high school I've gone on a few diets with my mom with her encouragement and support but it never really worked because I think I was always doing it for her and not for myself. After my freshman year of college I gained 30 pounds, so I went from kind of overweight to just out of control. I did go on Jenny Craig that summer and lost about 20 pounds but by the time I graduated 3 years later it just came back on.
After I graduated I got a job in Boston where I've been living for the past year and a half. I thought that moving out on my own and being away from the bad school food would give me a new chance. I was determined that this was my chance to do something. But then about a month I moved here I had a bad fall and tore some ligaments in my foot. I was pretty much out of commission for 3 months and had to undergo physical therapy. During this time I was not exercising because it just hurt too much so basically I'd go home from work and sit and watch tv.
I went to the doctor in March for a physical and was surprised to see I weighed 254 lbs! You think this would have been a wake up call for me but it really wasn't. In August I had to go back to the doctor and was shocked to see I weighed 260lbs! I was completely eating horribly and not taking care of myself at all. Finally after moving into a new apartment with new roomies I decided that I just had to do something. On September 11th I decided to go join Weight Watchers. When I weighed in for the first time I topped the scales at 266! So there began my transformation.
A huge part of my problem is that I'm a compulsive binge eater. Its like I can just go numb and eat thousands of calories in a very short amount of time. I was really unhappy in my living situation when I first moved to Boston and had lots of problems with my roommate. I think to fill some kind of void I would go buy tons of junk food and just sit and eat and eat until I went to bed. Since starting WW I have really tried to get control of that but its still really hard. When some people lose weight they look at the crap they used to eat and say "oh that's so gross, I don't know how I ever ate that". For me I'm not sure I'll ever say that. I still think those things look good, and they taste good even though I know they're horrible for me. The great thing about WW though is that if I plan right I can still have some of the foods I used to eat every once and a while.
My last weigh in was on Tuesday night and I actually had my first gain...+ 2.6 lbs. Yes, it was disappointing but I knew I wasn't going to do well because I had a bad week with the exercise and was kind of so-so with the food. All this on top of the fact that it was my time of the month. So with my gain this week I've lost a total of 11.8 lbs so I'm pretty proud of myself. I've finally made a commitment to do this for myself and I'm going to see it through.
Weight to date: 254.2
Weight loss this week: +2.6
Total weight loss: 11.8
This was a big step for me because I've never exactly been a skinny person. Since I've been in high school I've gone on a few diets with my mom with her encouragement and support but it never really worked because I think I was always doing it for her and not for myself. After my freshman year of college I gained 30 pounds, so I went from kind of overweight to just out of control. I did go on Jenny Craig that summer and lost about 20 pounds but by the time I graduated 3 years later it just came back on.
After I graduated I got a job in Boston where I've been living for the past year and a half. I thought that moving out on my own and being away from the bad school food would give me a new chance. I was determined that this was my chance to do something. But then about a month I moved here I had a bad fall and tore some ligaments in my foot. I was pretty much out of commission for 3 months and had to undergo physical therapy. During this time I was not exercising because it just hurt too much so basically I'd go home from work and sit and watch tv.
I went to the doctor in March for a physical and was surprised to see I weighed 254 lbs! You think this would have been a wake up call for me but it really wasn't. In August I had to go back to the doctor and was shocked to see I weighed 260lbs! I was completely eating horribly and not taking care of myself at all. Finally after moving into a new apartment with new roomies I decided that I just had to do something. On September 11th I decided to go join Weight Watchers. When I weighed in for the first time I topped the scales at 266! So there began my transformation.
A huge part of my problem is that I'm a compulsive binge eater. Its like I can just go numb and eat thousands of calories in a very short amount of time. I was really unhappy in my living situation when I first moved to Boston and had lots of problems with my roommate. I think to fill some kind of void I would go buy tons of junk food and just sit and eat and eat until I went to bed. Since starting WW I have really tried to get control of that but its still really hard. When some people lose weight they look at the crap they used to eat and say "oh that's so gross, I don't know how I ever ate that". For me I'm not sure I'll ever say that. I still think those things look good, and they taste good even though I know they're horrible for me. The great thing about WW though is that if I plan right I can still have some of the foods I used to eat every once and a while.
My last weigh in was on Tuesday night and I actually had my first gain...+ 2.6 lbs. Yes, it was disappointing but I knew I wasn't going to do well because I had a bad week with the exercise and was kind of so-so with the food. All this on top of the fact that it was my time of the month. So with my gain this week I've lost a total of 11.8 lbs so I'm pretty proud of myself. I've finally made a commitment to do this for myself and I'm going to see it through.
Weight to date: 254.2
Weight loss this week: +2.6
Total weight loss: 11.8
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